every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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