38 yer olds are good kisserssss
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
