His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
