HIV tests are more positive than that guy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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