I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
