I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize