Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
