He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
