Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
God, I missed his penis.
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