So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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