I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he fucked my hip out of place.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
