I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
