Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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