spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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