check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
