I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Small penises have feelings too.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
