today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
