i'm signing you up for texting rehab
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
