meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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