hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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