I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
MIDGETS
????
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
