I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
