I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
