ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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