If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
