i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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