bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
