and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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