So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
