By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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