Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
