Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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