Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
