you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
