where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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