peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
