I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
