i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
my poor anus
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
