We should be called the Road Head Warriors
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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