im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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