I threw up into my coffee this morning.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
