i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
