Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
