im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize