The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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