I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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