Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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