Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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