ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
