It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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