before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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