Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
