so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
