My hand turned me down
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
