you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
