its not stalking. its research.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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