her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
