So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
