Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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