You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
