I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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