If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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