She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize