Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
