Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize