Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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