Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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