Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
