Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
