Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I understand Curling. That high.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
