Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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